There is a secret about me that most people including all of my friends don't particularly know the real me...i mean really the real me. It's hard for me to make new friends faster like everybody else...I cannot find any suitable reason for my attitude. why did behave that way...it is not like I don't want to have friends, I do..i really do..but for some reason, people would hate me...and like usual, I don't know for what reason. Sometimes, i just want to blend into the darkness so that people won't be notice me, so that people wouldn't hate for such reason...hate....is it me who hate people or people hate me?...i don't know...maybe im just a weird gal that arent meant to be in this world..maybe i should live in a forest and befriend to animal creatures...but why?..everyday, i've been searching what is happening inside me..what's wrong here?...every single day, every second i keep thinking..even before i sleep, i'm thinking..and now..i'm still thinking..it is so hard to fulfill my desire, to search what is exactly I desire the most...sometimes, i hate to understand myself..and so i let my mind to be numb for a while..stopping all of this craze thoughts ..
Maybe...because i'll try to be a perfect person in this world..therefore, im losing my sanity now?? could it be that way??? maybe..i lose my goal...becoming more confusing than ever in making choice what to achieve in future..im losing my tracks now...im good in giving advice for people but im a terrible psychologist for myself..my brain doesnt work for that way...niceee..im now i'm even crapping in my blog...writing some nonsense blog..with this numb brain, im writing these...
HOW TO FIND HAPPINESS?
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